Where I Am

Sometimes, the writing conditions are just so perfect.  Tonight is one of those times.  The window is cracked letting that pitter patter of raindrops inside, a blanket is around my shoulders, Pandora is playing exactly what I need to hear, the yellow dog is silent and still, but most of all, I feel the need to write. 

At this point, I'm not sure that I would call myself a writer.  A writer seems like someone who has studied, who writes to live, who thinks of every word, and scribbles constant notes on thick paper.  I don't know if I'd call myself a blogger either, because sometimes that has an outdated connotation. When people hear "blogger", they think of moms, political rants, or some guy in his basement spouting his point of view on everything.  I want so much more for this blog, but I don't know how to take it there. 

When I look back on things, I'm sure that my 26th into the 27th year will be that of the most reflection.  That is probably par for the journey for most people.  I look back now and see how much growth there has been in the last year.  Not that we were necessarily that different, but now we are so much more aware.  I put work in the last year to force myself to look for the positives.  And in turn, it created a reflective life. 


I was thinking today about how different life has turned out for me. I'm surrounded by history, writing, and a grassroot way of being.  I feel more inspired to cook, to dig in the dirt, and to type.  It feels more organic this way.  More natural.  And I guess, sometimes things have to fall in place before you really figure out what you're suppose to do. 

Still, there is that constant, constant, constant desire to do better.  To think greater.  To jump higher and leap more.  To stand barefoot in the water and really feel how that feels.  To dance to more songs.  To breathe in more mountain air. 

So, maybe I'm not necessarily a writer or a blogger.  But, I'm definitely a reflector.  Not like those things that you wear when you jog at night though. 


I want to live a good life, full of love and without negativity.  I don't want to have wars with other people or to hold onto grudges and resentment.  I want peace between those I interact with.  I want to challenge others to be their better self and I want the same in return.  Nobody has the right answer or everything figured out.  But, I want to write about how I'm getting there.


Something greater is waiting for me in my life.  I'm sure that answers will be revealed when I have children, and when I grow in my years.  There is this desire in me to sit down and talk, to find your story, and to share mine. 

Mine is a story that does not have major catastrophe, just some minor heartbreak, and many life lessons.  When I look back at these chapters, I think I will be happy that I wrote it all down and that I shared it with you. 





I haven't figured out what else I can do with this blog yet.  Of course it is allowing me to venture deeper into the land that I love, and to force myself to search for goodness.  But, there is more than I need.  I want to connect with more people and to have a longer conversation.  This medium is a beautiful thing. 


If you're reading, thank you.  It means so much.  If you read regularly, let me know.  Share this.  Share with me about what you like about this corner of my heart.  Let me know you're there, whoever you are.