Slow and Steady

This morning, I just want to lay in bed and stay under the blankets a little longer.  I want to let warm dogs put heavy heads on my legs and dream a little later.  Or maybe I'll take a hot bath.  Or stay in my Penguins Hockey shirt and eat a lot of cereal in front of the TV. 

Its been difficult getting into a routine here.  Most of us can blame it on the weather, which has been a disappointing mixture of left over snow and schizophrenic rain.  It makes me tired and less incline to do anything significant.  However, when a sunny day presents itself, I'm not exactly motivated either.  I'm sure its all part of transition. 

Or, maybe its because our days have been full. Lots of playing outside, unrestrained, with the dogs.  Lots of cooking complete meals.  Lots of driving around, watching K get his bearings.  Lots of quality time with best friends, looking for local adventures.  Lots of ending the day with achy muscles, and discussions of how tired we are. 

I will say that I do miss Pennsylvania.  It is a part of our relationship, but more than that, I am discovering it is a part of me too. The people, the hang outs, the farms, the style of houses, the explosion of Spring this time of the year, these are the things I miss.  I won't trade my mountains again, but its comforting to know that I am a little bit of an East Coast girl afterall. 

I know that its going to feel out of body sometimes.  I know that its going to be painfully slow sometimes, trying to get a sense of normal back.  It will take awhile to find jobs, and even longer to find an apartment, and then more time after that to fill it with our things and make it a home.  We will find a new normal, and then one day we'll visit Pennsylvania and that will seem a little weird, but we'll find our old selves there too. 

I worry about K to the point that I project my own feelings of insecurity and assume that he's miserable.   But, he's not at all, he's adjusting.  He's doing more than I am.  Maybe its a clean slate for him and its not completely for me. I did live here.  I come back different and this place is a little bit different too, so I have to find meaning in all that.  I have to figure out where I belong and what I'm suppose to do.  And how that all translates into a new wife. 

In the meantime, we'll get out of bed and try a little bit harder everyday.  The temperature is rising a degree a day and there are more partly sunny days than partly rainy.  I have seen Mt. Rainier this week already.  Next week, mom is on Spring Break and we will make a couple of day trips.  I hope the tulips are ready for us.  And, we have some celebrating to do next week in the form of Easter and a six month anniversary.  

Life is good, we just have to sort it out a little sometimes.