Same Old

Its good to be back, and I mean that in the way that I am talking to myself.

As in, "hello Old Me.  I'm not going to question where you've been, its just nice to have you here." 

and

"Why thank you, its definitely good to be back."




Its been a busy year.  And, that is an understatement.  Its been a busy year of planning, adjusting, surviving, thriving, and mostly going through the motion.   Last week I finished my notice at work and I counted down the seconds until I could regroup and recharge.  I did this before I moved to Pennsylvania. I moved back home for a couple of weeks, spent my days cooking and walking barefoot on cool grass, preparing myself for the next chapter in my life.  It was a bittersweet experience, as this will be, I suspect.

Too often, our life experience and changes catapult from one to another.  We jump from let down to let down, or high to high, and don't really take a breath and take in what just happened.  Maybe we're anxious to get to the "what's next?".  Maybe we're afraid of what will happen if we slow down.  I knew that I needed these next couple of weeks so that I'm in the right place when we move.  No agenda, no plan, no blueprint.


Instead, crafting.

 
And stuffing boxes for people I love, then reopening the boxes because I forgot something. 


Instead, backyard lights.

They're a whole two years old and they're definitely showing their age.  But, I kinda like them better like this. 


Instead, backyard fires.  Something I thought I had already said good-bye to in PA.  Mild weather is hanging around a little bit longer, despite our unexpected surprise in October.  

Instead, long walks with Lilly.  Just like we use to do. 

Instead, late night writing, because that's when the getting got good.  That's when my synapses fired their best.  There's something about the dark sky, a hard rain, and a puppy under the blankets next to me that sparks the best writing.  And, although I know that I'm not at my prime right now, this is all still good because it represents. 

It's all good, because I feel like myself again.  The last year was the best, and the wedding was amazing, but its nice to get in the groove again and to just be.  And to record that being. 



We're in a major transition period right now, but I feel calm.  I feel present.  I feel prepared and I feel sure.  I feel like right now we should be marking boxes, but we should also be sitting in the backyard, drinking scotch and smoking cigars.  We should be sitting around the fire, laughing, telling stories from our day, as a light rain hits our sweatshirt hoods. 

Because, that's going to be part of our life out there too, so why wait?